I'm not too keen on dogs. Owning, say, a golden retriever would only be slightly less horrible than a bout of malaria or a long series of dentist's appointments.
They are of course easier to manage than five-year-olds; on the other hand, you can't really distract a dog with an iPad or other similarly infantilising Apple products while you pour yourself a drink and read about the debt crisis in your comfortable Muji armchair. There is one striking similarity between dogs and small children, though: they both have this remarkable tendency to annoy everyone within 50 – 70 yards, depending on individual pitch characteristics and body mass. Like musical instruments, the smaller ones are usually higher pitched. The worst ones are the ones that try to attack you when you're doing your morning jog: I have encountered both nasty little chihuahuas – there are two in particular near my home! – and feral six-year-olds getting overly excited about my Nike shoes.
But, after seeing some Halloween-themed pictures, I'm tempted to buy some kind of annoying little yipping monster (i.e. a dog, not a child), just to dress it up. Just look at this little dachshund, for instance – the owner must have thought long and hard to come up with such a humiliating costume!
The other good thing about pictures of dogs in silly costumes is that they can distract one's colleagues from more pressing matters.
A certain @louisalim was kind enough to share the following Taobao item – the missing be missing link between chihuahuas and Darth Vader – which triggered a massive online shopping relapse in a colleague (focusing mainly on fancy costumes for her dog). My work is done!
LEGAL DISCLAIMER The author of this post would like to make it clear that no chihuahuas have been killed or injured during his/her morning jog… Yet!
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